17 Jul I’m a Control Freak, Shouldn’t I be Thinner and Richer?
All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. (1 Corinthians 10:23)
I remember starting a diet when I was in college saying, “I’m going to plunge into moderation.” There is an oxymoron that exists in all of us. It is usually based on the “If / then” lie. If I could just lose fifteen pounds, then I would be happy. If I just make X amount of money, then I will be successful. The problem is anytime we place blame outside of ourselves we lose our power. There is one phrase that outlines the main cause to everyone’s problems. It’s in the old story we repeat every year, over and over, as to why we don’t have what we want.
I’m overweight because everyone in my family is overweight; it’s in my genes. Therefore, I am not responsible.
I’m not being paid what I’m worth because I didn’t go to college, or I did go to college and I’m still not paid what I’m worth. Therefore, I am not responsible.
I can’t focus on losing weight until after I finish xyz. Therefore, I am not responsible.
Many times a “fact” we are basing our rationalization on is really just a belief that we feel so certain about that it takes things out of our control. I had a lady say to me once, “Tamara, it’s a fact that I’ve failed at every diet I’ve attempted.” She has taken on that blame and is now certain that any other diet won’t work for her. She sees her attempts as mistakes because she doesn’t feel capable of achieving her goal. What’s really going on is she is not tapping into her resourcefulness because the story she is telling herself keeps her stuck. She’s viewing her attempts as failures or there is something wrong with her instead of learning a lesson and having a new perspective or thought about what something means.
What you resist facing will persist. In other words, the longer you tell yourself why you can’t have something or blame someone else for why you don’t have something, the longer you will be faced with the same exact challenges you have been facing. Until you learn a new lesson or change your perspective on your situation, it has control over you. In order to deal with this control issue, we need to get at the root cause.
What if what you want is what’s controlling you?
Does that piece of chocolate cake control you? Does that cigarette have power over you? From a biblical perspective, do you have an idol or something that you idolize? Is there anything that you want so bad that you will violate your values to get it?
We consume what we think about.What we think about can consume us if we are not carful.
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